describing joy

people describe how they worked too hard, drank too much, yelled at too many people, and did it to achieve something. then realized the error of their ways, and now they live a new life. a different approach to life.

i thought this morning about how, well just entertained the idea of whether that energy could be necessary. if that is a story we hear so much, is that the actual path? the energy i'm talking about is indignation/frustration if you had to choose between love and fear, it is closer to fear, an active form of fear. for an idea of what that is, take two approaches to running. the energy i'm talking about it is running because you need to get your ass off the couch and you can't sleep and you want something to change and even fuck the hurt, i'm doing it anyway. the energy i am not talking about is running because you enjoy being outside, it is a beautiful day, and you know you feel better doing it, get to spend some time recharging (alone or with friends whichever works for you) and afterwards you will go get a small treat like eat a peach, date night with your loved one.

now that those definitions have been described, back to my original question of why is it that this pattern exists amongst high achieving people? is it effective? is it the best way for me, is it suboptimal?

if you want the answer right away, part of the reason it exists is because that is what we hear. compelling stories are stories of change. a person overcoming. a hero story. they are good because they give us hope and maybe that is related to why they are more compelling. but a good story is not necessarily a good way to live your life.

a good story is not necessarily the best way to do things. it is also easiest for people who have come through a system of being told to do things they do not like, to understand a system where the fury pushes you through. you can understand the grind, but can you understand loving this work project so much, that you would rather do it than not?

here is what i am saying.
for people who are working on joy, defining joy, figuring out what to do with life, there is a surface-subtle, fundamental ground-shift, which i am just now working through.

the shift consists of viewing the world as it is. i think you can be rewarded in the world, viewed externally as a success, and be deeply flawed and even have spent your whole life chasing the wrong thing.

the right things come from good. there is a way to work from good, for good, on good things, and learning to align yourself with that is a big goal.

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