It is hard to sleep: poem on insomnia and productivity

it is not how bright it is in the room
or the heat
but the gnawing lack of accomplishment
in the day
that makes it hard to sleep at night

the gnawing understanding that you do not have a dream
you have lost a dream
an excitement

and that you only get your sense of accomplishment through video games
an electronic medium that does not mean anything in the real world

but at least you are addicted to a sense of accomplishment
you can use that
use it to produce art
use it to drive you to create
use it to mark a task off your list

use it to keep questioning and solving what it is that you find lacking

You might find that you need to workout so you are tired
to connect, not just hang out, with people, so you are not lonely
to express yourself, artistically, so you are not repressed, so you have fun
to reframe everything, so you understand how blessed and lucky and bountiful your life is

you have limbs that work, or a mind that works, you can breathe, you can type, you can read, there are lots of people today who cannot read, you have internet access, there are lots of people today who live wihtout internet, you had food today, you are alive.

every moment is a step towards something better.
you realize that you have everything that you need.

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