Gabor Mate In the Realm of Hungry Ghosts

Every addiction is an attempt to find relief from pain

Whether felt openly, or hidden in the unconscious

Instead of the pursuit of pleasure, chronic addiction is the attempt to escape distress.

stressful jobs
aimlessness of life
people trying to fill a void

-> there are better ways to do this thing

often people who have addictive, bearing the brunt of trauma and abuse, sooth emotional pain, brain development sabotaged by stresses growing up

-> there are ways to rewire yourself it is not even rewiring, it is just redoing

emotionally cold parents as well
proximal separation, stress, depression, or other demons, does not nurture child psychologically
physically present, but not emotionally available

-> pursue good things

"It does not work" is misdirected. There is no "it" to work or not work, you have to work.

relabel - i do not need, i am having an obsessive thought
reattribute - this is my brain sending me a false signal

Reattribution helps you put the addictive drive into perspective: it’s no more significant than, say, a momentary ringing in your ear

refocus - it's not how you feel that counts, it is what you do. buy yourself time.
devalue - what has this addictive behavior done for me?

write it out

Do all this without judging yourself. You are gathering information, not conducting a criminal trial against yourself

re-create - choose a different life