Win

Previously, you have experienced an authority figure using thing against you. Now, you avoid situations where an authority figure might know something and use it against you.

someone knowing something, especially an authority figure, and once they know it, they cannot unknow it, well you cannot force them to unknow it
and things that the authority figure knows, well, the authority figure often uses information against you

Previously, you faced high pain for wrong decisions without being able to learn.

Such high consequences for making a wrong decision. so you never want to make a wrong decision. so there is such strong stress around it, additionally . making a creative mess, is the most productive time.

Need to have a structure in order to have a mess.

but if you already have a mess, you do not have the room to make a mess. - david allen.

then there are other aspects as well

Perfectionism is a mistake. It is a condition. It is because you equate your self worth, skills, and results. Which are all separate and may be unrelated in this particular instance.

equating your self worth with your skills and also with your results, those are all separate things.

your self worth is not the amount of stuff you can do for other people

Part of organization is getting everything out of your brain. See it when you need to see it. Structure where you need it. A process to clear it out.

also need to get everything out of your brain, so you have the right amount of perspective (focus) and in the correct amount of structure for it.

Flexibility beats perfection. - David Allen