What happens when you look for something.
People try to fit themselves into something and eventually
1) they accept what they are there to do
2) they keep looking.
When you are looking there are four possible outcomes:
- keep looking until you find it
- realize that it is not there
- decide that it is not there
- replace it with something else
TL;DR You should look for the right things in the right places.
If you keep looking for it until you find it, look for the right thing.
- Possible pitfall: you are looking for the wrong thing.
- Potential solutions : look for the right thing by learning from other people and your own experience. however, sometimes, you might have to just go through it to really learn for yourself. Just because someone says, for example, that exercising in the morning does not work for them, does not mean it will not work for you.
Realize it is not there.
Possible pitfall : are you sure it is not there? you have to figure out if you are realizing or if you are just deciding.
- Potential solutions : If it is something that you need, it is there, it is possible. Improve skills or increase resources.
Decide it is not there.
Potential pitall : I think this situation could be the scariest one. You think something is not there, that, well actually is. For example, you think that now you are an adult (working, married, kids, mortgage, whatever it is), that you cannot have adventures. You can and you will.
- Potential solutions : You have to figure out time management, money management, and develop skills and capacity for adventure with your life. It could be a long process, but if you really need it, then it is worth it. The world has everything that you need, so you may have been looking for the wrong thing, or in the wrong place. For example, looking for a partner that is social because you are not, but you like people.
So going back to the example above, say someone wants to be backpacking all the time. Well, most people do not. They will say that it is not possible, and they go back to work and potentially live really happy lives. Good for them. Some people, really do want to, or they have to, and they figure it out. So it is possible. They will sell almost all their belongings, buy a van or use a car, learn to live cheaply, and put all their money or time into it. They will gain a skill (ex. blacksmithing) and learn to make and sell better climbing equipment (REI founder), or gain another skill (ex. photography) and learn the business of making and selling photos of friends that no one else can do (Jimmy Chin).
- Replace it with something else.
- Potential pitfalls : you need to replace it with something healthy and sustainable
- Potential solutions : if it is something like adventure desire, you replace it with daily small adventures like riding your bike everyday, taking a circuitious route home through parks and brambles, or you take up a more extreme hobby, or you start weight lifting. If it is something like the desire build things, then you start a woodworking hobby, or metal working, and make stuff like artistic chairs that you smile when you sit in, or fix broken porch steps for neighbors trying to raise a family.
You can have anything that you need, and you can even have whatever you want, as long as, well you pick one thing.
So pick it carefully, and work, work, work. There are certain things that are valuable across many domains: skills, reputation, relationships, special knowledge, money. Go after money, but you need the rest.
The nice thing about transferables is that, well, if you happen to have pursued the \'wrong\' thing, then you can use what you have as you adapt.
For example, if you learned computer programming for a bank, but you do not like it, you can pick out what portions you do like, and then shift that way. If you realize, for example, that you want to ski and live in the mountains, well figure out how to work on computer systems of ticketing systems for resorts, for example. I have met people who did just that. Traveling and lift passes.
If you figure that, you were chasing a dream that you did not actually want, well then, you now have experience in multiple domains and can use that to go forward.
Self awareness is actually the biggest hack. If you just knew exactly what you wanted, you would just go out and get that.