look for the right things in the right places

What happens when you look for something.

People try to fit themselves into something and eventually
1) they accept what they are there to do
2) they keep looking.

When you are looking there are four possible outcomes:

  1. keep looking until you find it
  2. realize that it is not there
  3. decide that it is not there
  4. replace it with something else

TL;DR You should look for the right things in the right places.

  1. If you keep looking for it until you find it, look for the right thing.

    • Possible pitfall: you are looking for the wrong thing.
    • Potential solutions : look for the right thing by learning from other people and your own experience. however, sometimes, you might have to just go through it to really learn for yourself. Just because someone says, for example, that exercising in the morning does not work for them, does not mean it will not work for you.
  2. Realize it is not there.

    • Possible pitfall : are you sure it is not there? you have to figure out if you are realizing or if you are just deciding.

    • Potential solutions : If it is something that you need, it is there, it is possible. Improve skills or increase resources.
  3. Decide it is not there.

    • Potential pitall : I think this situation could be the scariest one. You think something is not there, that, well actually is. For example, you think that now you are an adult (working, married, kids, mortgage, whatever it is), that you cannot have adventures. You can and you will.

    • Potential solutions : You have to figure out time management, money management, and develop skills and capacity for adventure with your life. It could be a long process, but if you really need it, then it is worth it. The world has everything that you need, so you may have been looking for the wrong thing, or in the wrong place. For example, looking for a partner that is social because you are not, but you like people.
      So going back to the example above, say someone wants to be backpacking all the time. Well, most people do not. They will say that it is not possible, and they go back to work and potentially live really happy lives. Good for them. Some people, really do want to, or they have to, and they figure it out. So it is possible. They will sell almost all their belongings, buy a van or use a car, learn to live cheaply, and put all their money or time into it. They will gain a skill (ex. blacksmithing) and learn to make and sell better climbing equipment (REI founder), or gain another skill (ex. photography) and learn the business of making and selling photos of friends that no one else can do (Jimmy Chin).
  4. Replace it with something else.
    • Potential pitfalls : you need to replace it with something healthy and sustainable
    • Potential solutions : if it is something like adventure desire, you replace it with daily small adventures like riding your bike everyday, taking a circuitious route home through parks and brambles, or you take up a more extreme hobby, or you start weight lifting. If it is something like the desire build things, then you start a woodworking hobby, or metal working, and make stuff like artistic chairs that you smile when you sit in, or fix broken porch steps for neighbors trying to raise a family.

Final thoughts

You can have anything that you need, and you can even have whatever you want, as long as, well you pick one thing.

So pick it carefully, and work, work, work. There are certain things that are valuable across many domains: skills, reputation, relationships, special knowledge, money. Go after money, but you need the rest.

The nice thing about transferables is that, well, if you happen to have pursued the \'wrong\' thing, then you can use what you have as you adapt.

For example, if you learned computer programming for a bank, but you do not like it, you can pick out what portions you do like, and then shift that way. If you realize, for example, that you want to ski and live in the mountains, well figure out how to work on computer systems of ticketing systems for resorts, for example. I have met people who did just that. Traveling and lift passes.

If you figure that, you were chasing a dream that you did not actually want, well then, you now have experience in multiple domains and can use that to go forward.

Go forward.

Self awareness is actually the biggest hack. If you just knew exactly what you wanted, you would just go out and get that.

Making money and doing what you love are not a trade-off.

I used to think I fell completely on the side that I should do something I love. But the reality is that there is an imperative to make money. And right out of college, however you make money, ends up taking most of your resources: time and energy and...money (buying work clothes, work lunches, activities, commute gas).

However, all I have had to guide me is a longing for something else. A sense that there is something else I can or should be doing. A sense that there is a better way to be doing things.

A mentor sent me a poem called "Ithaca" that describes that you should keep going after these things. It reminds me of the Wizard of Oz. One huge thing to realize is that making money and doing what you love are two separate things. They can happen at the same time, or not at the same time. They are different skill sets. They are different actions.

How do you do what you love?
You are working from a place in your soul, doing something that matches with your essential self. Sounds pretty wishy-washy, but that is it. For a while, I drifted from activity to activity and I couldn't quite separate what was adrenaline, what was good, what I loved, what I was good at. It was all a mismash. Did I like this because I liked it 'inherently' or because I didn't want to do schoolwork?
I did not grow up doing things I wanted, I grew up doing good things that I was good at, or that I competed in. If I could do things I wanted, I would not have known how to do good things that you want. Good things that you want are borne out of curiosity and are like play to you and look like work to others. These might have been things like when I self-learned a programming language and programmed a simple game in a short amount of time. Had I been in the environment to recognize and capitalize on something like that...but there was not much driving me that way, in fact, I might have if I was not being pushed so hard to be a doctor. That is probably one of the worst things that has happened in my developmental life. Totally squashed my sense of what work was like. Work is something practical that makes a lot of money. You do not have to like it. Of course you have to like it, but the world I am in now, the world as it exists is that to excel you do things that you like. What it did do was expose me to a lot of different experiences, gave me a strong (and wrong) narrative, and functioned as a way for me to leverage access. However, to be 'perfect' it would be self-driven and then guided. Anyway that is what I am figuring out now. Without those opportunities I would not be where I am or who I am so I am thankful to my parents for those opportunities.

So that was a rant.

Here are the actual points of what you need to do:
*Understand what it is that drives you. There are only a few things...the sparketypes has actually been the only thing that has made functional sense to me. I've done Myers Briggs and many others. There is a certain tact you take towards any good job.
*Develop your financial skills. Saving money and having fun and a fulfilling life outside consumerism. Investing money in assets to produce income that eventually can sustain and exceed what few expenses you have.
*Develop your personal skills and there are certain skills which make money. Actually just make sure you make money in some way.
*Eventually, your passive asset production will outpace your expenses.
*Happiness is a collection of things, that are not things. Relationships. Work that is good. But mental health, physical health, and spiritual health is a way to break it down. It is a question that is valuable to answer for yourself. But, in general, you win when you are playing a one-person game...not chasing status or some reward outside your own system.

Learning. Teaching. Problem Solving. Making. New Experiences. Relaxing with Family.

define a good life

I read this thing that the pillars of success are intent, vision, action, and clarity.

Okay, well that is vague enough, but organized enough that it can help.

My intent is to live a good life. Using this framework, I realize that it is the vision and action portions that I am working on. I have to take action towards those steps everyday.

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joy : what is it coming from

just because you become at successful, that means you make money at something you got good at.

expression of a deeper driver that intrinsically lights you up, that is what you aspire to.

pursue accomplishment as a deeper driver.

what are you here to do? what is your sense or purpose? what is your passion?
mine is learning and problem solving as a backup.

what is driving that. it is the learning. that is a deeper imprint.
also the imprint of being a gentleman.

source code level answer to the thing that allows you to do something that fills you with a sense of purpose, which gives you a sense of meaning. now you can more readily access this state of flow.

hyper productive, efficient, cognition.

i also sometimes get that from writing because through writing you get learning and problem solving as well.

you can do almost any job in any industry in a specific way.
what areyou trying to prove? what are you trying to drop away? what are you trying to bring more of?

the majority of the people in their jobs are disengaged. find joy. do not change your career path, unless and until you absolutely have to. you do not hit that limit until you get to the point of your actual purpose.

you're doing it because it is the thing you can't not do.

there is also a way to express it as a obsessive or an expressive way.

more like from jonathan

describing joy

people describe how they worked too hard, drank too much, yelled at too many people, and did it to achieve something. then realized the error of their ways, and now they live a new life. a different approach to life.

i thought this morning about how, well just entertained the idea of whether that energy could be necessary. if that is a story we hear so much, is that the actual path?

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defining joy first attempt

the things that bring joy are to love and to work, perhaps. starting with that theory, something to work on becomes something that you do because the reward of the energy.

something that resonates with yourself.

things that resonate with yourself. what is that? people talk vaguely about passion, purpose, living well.

i think it has to do with moving towards another version of yourself? i would call it another expression of yourself.

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if not products, then what?

Okay let's say you have a society and you're trying to improve. I'm thinking there's different buckets you can put money in and there's going to be different needs as a society progresses. There's what has been described as 'absolute vs relative' poverty. In absolute poverty, people cannot get enough calories and clean water to survive. As that need is addressed, we might be also able to address things like safe shelter from rain and sun. Eventually, as we juggle priorities and society improves, we could even argue that the limiter is that everyone needs not just food, but quality, healthy food. But at some point, you might be inefficiently allocating capital (money, time, effort, work) to this hypothetical 'food improvement' bucket. For example, let's make sure that people have not just quality food, but gastronomically challenging, gourmet, catered dinners.

Let's shift from society to an individual person.

When I see people going from financially insecure, to financially stable, to financially wealthy...I think there's a tendency to go...well...material and financial things have made a big difference, let's quadruple down on finances again. Replace "finances" with "achievement" or "popularity" or "experiences" and I saw that pattern poorly play out. It can decrease overall quality of life. So for high-achieving people, what do you replace the "it" goal with?

I said "made a big difference" and I think that begs the question, in what? A good life. I think a goal is living well and having a good life. The specifics of that do not have to be confusing. Be a good person, contribute to society, lift people up, take care of yourself.

One of my friends made a good point in reponse to another post. In terms of living well, top things were emotional connections, meaningful work, and mental health. How do you increase emotional connection and meaningful work?

Here is where I am still learning, initial thoughts:
*There's a place for moderation that's necessary, call it Tao, or just enough, or whatever it is. Some is good, too much can be harmful.

*Perceiving these things gets down to mental wiring (how you were raised and experiences) and self-awareness.

*After having some nice things, you (hopefully, eventually) realize that even nicer things aren't going to add much to life, unless they contribute to some other aspect of life.

People bring up Plato's Republic when talking about designing a good society. The part I thought was intriguing was about using the 'quality' of elected officials as a barometer for society and collapse. The part I thought was weird was the jump from 1) elect educated groups should lead to 2) everyone else should be kept down through various methods. One interpretation I read said instead we should have everyone receive education and then everyone can be involved.

How do you develop a good and happy life? Good life, path, and goals. Developing a system for doing what you like that seems robust and happy.

So you have many drives and they are not essentially good or bad. Then you have living a life, which involves practical and universal questions of how to feed, clothe, and where to live? How to make friends and find a partner? How to contribute to society? How to be happy yourself? I think, like many have, that contributing to society should come from being happy yourself.
What is being happy, then? Well that's a good start, there are lots of different things that society has described as happiness. Beyond that discussion though ...

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