Empathy, Trauma, and When People are Okay with Assholes

you are empathetic and caring and also developed that because you need to be able to tell whether someone is having a changing mood from a small look

you want to take control of situations because you cannot trust people, they talk behind your back, they manipulate people

your brother in law is a gossip and it triggers your reminders of people trying to do things that do not trust

pretty much everything i am trying to do with the family is have things maybe not out in the open, but build open lines of trust

it is a challenge

some people do it by wanting to be the boss, wanting to be in control, wanting to be on top of politics, maybe if they are in charge, someone cannot hurt them

some people do it by learning to be a warrior, physically strong, mentally tough, maybe then if they are stronger someone cannot hurt them

some people do it by becoming trusting of authority, hoping that they can trade alliances for being spared or being rewarded

maybe they are in charge so they can control the environment, who gets hurt or not

people like people that are confident

that are sure of themselves

people are okay with people that are assholes, given that they are consistently assholes, and that sometimes they are nice, the 'heart of gold'

it is rewarding for people to see that

come on unfriendly

it is easier to deal with people like that

is is harder to deal with people who change their story, alliances, and other things regularly

so people like dealing more with people that are consistent and predictable more than are nice

well, given in certain situations

they have to want something from the person

otherwise, yeah, they would rather be around confident, happy, generous people