Rules 1-4 for your 30s.

Rules are sometimes rules. Often they are guidelines.

One rule is avoid saying always or never.

Rule No. 1 - Focus on Your Own Grind

Care about other people.
That does not mean do not care about other people.

What it means is that when someone is being a hater, when someone is putting out negative towards you,

You are both in charge of yourself, as a resouce, and required to give of yourself.

If you run your resource out, you have nothing to give. That is bad management. If you do not give of your resource, then you just grew will not be happy, you will not be as rich, you will not be as will have hidden your resource and hoarded it. That is also bad management.

Be a good manager.

Rule No. 2 - Help people.

Rule No. 3 - Give freely, without expectation.

This includes charity.

More importantly, it also includes emotional charity towards others.

Be helpful. Ask what you can do to help. Once you ask over and over, people may take advantage of you, but you will have the reputation of being a helpful person. Good people will recogize that and not want to burn you out. Good people are hard to find. Bad managers will burn you out. Your job is to put yourself around good people. Or at least better and better people. Be a good manager.

In personal relationships, lose the fight. Do not create a situation where a person has to feel shitty that you helped them with all the work. Create a situation where they can feel grateful and thank you.

If you invest 'extra' work (emotional, physical, time, etc.) and you 'demand' a return immediately, you will probably be asking for a small thank you, but more likely, guilt tripping someone and making them feel bad. If you put in like 10 times more work than you think is appropriate, well, then you can actually say something. A good person will have thanked you before then. Everyone is subconsciously keeping score. A bad manager will not care. You could call that a mental condition. Your job is to put yourself around good people. Or at least better and better people.

Rule No. 4 - Do the right thing at the right time.

The right thing, well, you will learn what that is, but mostly it is about following the way, the middle way.

The right time, is often when you are not emotional. Or when you are emotional, but you can center yourself. You can center yourself quickly, peak argument even, if you get lucky and practice and have some pre-recorded responses and thoughts 2 to fall back on. Sometimes though, you have to yell. Sometimes it is correct to yell angrily. Sometimes that is all that people need or want, but usually, that's after 10x or something. Again, middle way, is actually often the most direct way in between two extremes.

() What is at stake here? Nothing likely. Breathe.
2) Why would you say that? What are you feeling right now? Don't be a hater, be a lover. Don't be a kill joy, be a ... I don't know. Give me a minute to think, I pissed off and don't want to say anything I don't mean. Or simply... Wowwwwww.

Bonus Rule No. 4b - You are going to mess up. Figure it out.